Procrastination and perennial perfectionism
Last week Lou and I sat down to plan. That’s the joy of a small business, it develops organically, in fits and starts. It responds to its users and it never quite ends up how you envisioned it. Our muddle of many ideas are starting to crystallise, and we now have a proper plan together and our first podcast in the diary for next week.
One of the topics we both felt was really important to Beyondable was that of procrastination. It’s a word that can mean many things and I am a world champion at procrastinating. I still can remember bathrooms cleaned before exams, book shelves rearranged and nights spent writing essays at Uni. More relevantly I know that I procrastinate when I am fearful. I don’t want to commit to making a decision for fear of getting it wrong. And making a decision around what I wanted to do with my life felt too huge to contemplate when I used to try and channel some decision making. Despite knowing I wanted to find a new route, I kept putting off the steps. It was only a chance encounter with Lou which got me thinking about making a leap (not sure she knows that!), and then that mindset is what led me to noticing a programme ‘Missions: Accepted’ on LinkedIn and with that I joined some other women in their 40s and 50s wanting to make some changes but not quite sure how.
For me it was transformational. One of the exercises was drawing a picture of your ‘world’ - mine felt so introverted, so much in retreat, it was a shock. And it was that evening in February this year that I realised I was in danger of losing my purpose if I didn’t kick myself out of my comfort zone.
My procrastination wasn’t a negative, it was protective, and perfectionist. I didn’t know what I could do, what my life experience combined with a career in communications qualified me for and that sent my shutters up. I toyed with going back to university, signed up for many courses, none of which really got me excited and it was only when speaking to Lou again that I realised what I wanted to do, was staring me in the face. I wanted to create change. I wanted a generation of people like me to feel valuable, those that had taken time out for their children or to care. I felt incensed when I heard how many of my friends, bright and capable people were being rejected when they had plucked up the courage to try and step back in. Lou felt the same, and so hear we are….
Procrastination is protective mechanism, it isn’t laziness or avoidance, it is many things, but mostly it is the enemy of moving forward. Baby steps are all I took, but it worked and now I feel like I am flying. Have that coffee with a trusted friend, you might find it helps give you the accountability you need to get started. Good luck!